The First Month of a Cancer Diagnoses is the Hardest...
For me personally, the first month of being diagnosed with cancer was the most difficult. You go through all the stages of grief – denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance of the cancer itself. It’s busy, emotional, draining and you need to prepare yourself for all the changes in the year ahead.
I was BUSY!
In just one month, I had 5 mammograms, 4 ultrasounds, 4 biopsies, I registered and submitted my imaging to 4 different cancer centers – 2 in state and 2 out of state, met with 2 panels of doctors at 2 of the cancer centers, I had an MRI and a CT Scan, bloodwork, chemo port surgery, and countless visits and calls with doctors throughout the month. On top of the medical related calls and appointments, I was making multiple calls to my insurance company, human resources and disability for health coverage and approvals, coordinating short term and long term leave, and organizing everything that would be needed for any treatment I would be doing in the future. I purchased multiple books, visited countless websites, and looked at a number of studies related to the type of cancer I had. Anything I could do to learn more information about my cancer, understand treatment options, and make immediate changes to improve my personal lifestyle with diet, exercise and mental health.
I was EMOTIONAL!
It was absolutely overwhelming. On top of how busy everything was, I had to share this new, life changing event that I didn’t accept [yet] myself with all of my family and friends. Each conversation was emotionally tolling and exhausting. The entire month I felt like I was treading in deep water barely able to stay afloat. Going to work and being around my family was a great distraction. But at the end of the day when the house was quiet and it was time to go to bed, I would lay awake with insomnia. I would think about everything I learned about my cancer, questioned if I was making the right choices and worried about treatment not working. I had a friend share with me that when going through what I was going through, it’s a great time to ask your doctor about depression and anxiety medication to be able to better cope with the day-to-day struggles. I was relieved of this advice and wished I had it sooner in the month. The last thing I was thinking about was my mental health during this time. My doctor did prescribe me an anxiety medication, but once I had it, I found I was starting to feel better about everything already. But I definitely would have coped with things better if I was treated for my anxiety sooner.
I made BIG DECISIONS!
During my first month of diagnosis and after meeting with several oncologists and surgeons, I was recommended and felt good about my upcoming treatment plan. I would do 20 weeks of AC-T chemotherapy infusions beginning May 13, 2024 followed with surgical removal of the cancer – likely a mastectomy. The doctor suggested chemotherapy first, as we could monitor effectiveness of the chemo by watching the tumor. If I had surgery first, we wouldn’t be able to see if the tumor had a response to the chemo. Ideally, when chemo is complete, all cancer cells would be dead and there would be no tumor – only scar tissue remaining in its place. AC-T chemotherapy regimen is Doxorubicin (Adriamycin) and Cyclophosphamide which I would do biweekly infusions for 8 weeks followed with Paclitaxel (Taxol) weekly for 12 weeks. According to Living Beyond Breast Cancer, the Doxorubicin damages the DNA inside of the cancer cell and prevents the cells from dividing, which causes them to die. Cyclophosphamide damages the DNA inside the cancer cell, which slows or stops cell growth. And Paclitaxel damages the structure of tumor that supports the cancer cells. This regimen would cause extreme nausea, fatigue, greatly lower my immunity, cause hair loss, and a number of other side affects. But if it meant I could be cancer free in the future, I became very ready to get started.
I became... READY!
Once I had my treatment plan coordinated and in place, I was already feeling much better. The week before chemo started, I went on a nice date with my husband, did some fun things with the kids, and I spoiled myself with getting semi-permanent eyebrows (powder brows), a massage, a mani/pedi, went wig shopping, and had my last lash extensions (which I have been addicted to having eyelash extensions the last several years). I purchased head wraps and wigs which helped me prepare for losing my hair very soon. I surprisingly became ready to start chemo and was excited and scared for my first infusion.
